It is perfectly understandable not to know when to call it quits. Sometimes we just want to keep trying and trying until eventually something works out in our favor. Instead of letting things go we hold onto it, letting it further deplete us of our happiness. I’ve been in that situation numerous of times and I’ve come to realize that there can be many signs of when to finally let something go. Here’s a list of a few:
When there are more bad days than good.
Take the amount of time you’ve either been with someone or have been doing something. Then think about all the good days and compare it to all the bad. If you can remember more bad days than good, it’s time to let it go. You say maybe it’ll just be this one time, every couple fights right? Every job has its frustrating days right? Yes, you’re right. It isn’t that there are fights or frustrating days, it’s the frequency at which they occur. There is no reason why a couple should be fighting more often than they are enjoying each others company. There is also no reason a job should severely stress you out to the cost of your happiness either. Sometimes the only solution for those types of situations is to just let them go. Find a new job, stay single for a while. The decision to stay or go could just be the key deciding factor for the rest of your life.
When you’ve ran out of reasons to stay.
Sometimes we hate to admit when something no longer makes us happy. When someone suggests that maybe we should move on, we find any reason to stay. They could be very valid reasons, like you want to be closer to your family or it keeps you a float financially. That’s perfectly fine. Sometimes there is nothing you can do except build your resume, or you just want to give that significant other a chance to change. It’s when you no longer can find a good enough reason to stay that should send off red alerts. Which brings me to my next point..
When your reasons have turned into excuses.
Staying because you’re afraid usually causes you to make up excuses for why you can’t let go. Staying because you’re afraid you won’t find someone else, or that you won’t find another job, are not valid reasons not to let go. I say this because if you put the time and effort into anything, you can come out successful. It’s all about the mindset. Will you be successful? Or will you keep telling yourself what you can’t do? I stayed with a guy off and on for a year, knowing I didn’t love him, just because I had conditioned myself to believe that no one else was going to love me. That was an excuse, not a valid reason. The verbal abuse and emotional scars were not worth staying. Your reasons will turn into excuses when you’ve been saying the same thing for years and have done nothing to help yourself succeed. Take the time to list all the reasons you have for staying, say them out loud, and if you find that you can change some of the things on your list, it’s more than likely an excuse.
When you just don’t know.
This is huge. Some people use “I don’t know” as a way to get people off their back. Sometimes someone is genuinely concerned about your well being and want to know if you have done anything to get yourself out of the situation you are in. So when they ask you and you’re searching for the reasons why and your only response is “I don’t know” that is a huge red flag that you needed to let it go like yesterday. When we start to do things for no apparent reason at all, or we have lost the only reason that we’ve had, I believe we become robots. We have conditioned ourselves to just accept all of the bullshit without even challenging it to potentially make our lives better. We no longer know what real happiness is because the “I don’t know” feeling is all we’ve known. If you are in a situation and have no idea why you endure it everyday, let it go. Chances are you still won’t know two or three years, months, or even days later so you might as well save yourself some time.
When you no longer smile.
You came in with a positive outlook. You just knew that they were the one, or that this job was the best thing that ever happened to you. Until, it just isn’t. You don’t want to go to work anymore, and you don’t really want to be around that person because when you are, you no longer smile. People will notice when you aren’t yourself and it will have a huge impact on you. According to The Science of Smiling, “Smiling reduces stress that your body and mind feel, almost similar to getting a good nights sleep.” So why risk it on something that is no longer making you happy? If you find yourself hard to come by a good smile then let it go. Relearning how to genuinely smile because of years of damage is much harder than letting something go early on while you’ve sill got some smiling left in you.
So if you are experiencing any of the above signs in your life in any situation. My best advice would be to just let it go, because that could just be the best thing you could ever do.
Share this story