You get through the hard years.
The years of growing up, dealing with constant changes to your body, and beginning to figure out what it is exactly you stand for. There’s always one friend that makes it. They beat the odds and make it from preschool to college and beyond. I almost had that. Until everything about that friendship showed its true colors.
And the best part was, it happened within a week.
Growing up I always had one friend in my corner. No matter how we drifted apart we always seemed to find our way back to each other. Countless pictures and secrets, it was almost if we were soul mates. Inseparable, from the time we were five years old. Until freshman year of high school. We were just bickering so much, I decided to take a step back from it, and didn’t talk to her for a week. But that was all it took. She wanted nothing to do with me after that. Even after I tried to explain why, and she even said we would be okay, things were never the same.
I was heartbroken, convinced that I was so wrong for what I did. So even though she had already found a new best friend I tried so hard to win her back. Being there when the new one pissed her off and asking her to hang out even if I had stuff to do.
I did this for two years.
By the time senior year came around, I had had enough. It had taken so much out of me to be her friend. I had suddenly realized that she had no intentions of repairing what we had. She was stringing me along like some lost puppy looking for a home. Getting my hopes up, just to stop talking to me again.
No one deserves to be treated that way.
When I let her go I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I stopped trying so hard to impress her, and I started making friendships with other people. They cared about me. If I needed them they were always there for me. Even if we got on each others nerves we always laughed about it and moved on. I was never punished for mistakes that I had made. The concept was refreshing.
Never give someone the power to control you like that. People like her don’t care if they are hurting your feelings, they don’t care if you are dying inside while trying to please them. They just know that they can do whatever they want to you and you will take it. So stand up for yourself, let the toxic friendships go. She may not have physically made it into my future, but the lesson I learned from her surely did.
I no longer in a sense “beg” for someone to be my friend or to even be in my life for that matter. There have been times where I have deleted numbers of people I hadn’t talked to in a while, because if they don’t care enough to text me back, or say happy birthday to me, then they don’t deserve to be a part of my life. So thank you, “best friend” for showing me that valuable lesson.
Take a moment to look around you when you’re with your friends. Evaluate how they treat you in any given situation. Are they truly your friend? or is it a facade? Whether it takes you a day, a month, or a year (in my case two) to figure it out, it’ll be well worth it when you can finally etch that negativity out of your life.
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