A love that is unconditional.
A love that shows up even when it feels like I don't deserve it. One that doesn't ask much, but gives all that it can. An easy, simple love that has me staring and smiling at him while watching tv, but also crying in fear that I might mess it all up and lose it.
A love that drives me crazy trying to figure out if this is real! Is this a sick dream that I am going to wake up from? Back in my bed, alone, not searching. Is this the realest love I've ever had? One that came unexpectedly, when I wasn't searching for it at all. Talking for hours in a coffee shop.. and then another. Doing things that I never thought I would do.
Telling close to a stranger my darkest secrets, knowing they are safe. I don't know how I know, I just do. Allowing myself to take down every brick. This love was allowing me to feel loved again. It gave me hope that this love would find me. It HAD found me. It wasn't going anywhere.
I deserved this love.
It was the love that I had gave to others. That I never received.. until now.
This love has given me hope. I see a future full of happiness and success. I see a lifetime of memories being made with a partner who listens and helps. A love that may not always understand but takes the time to try. One that doesn't check out and back in when it is convenient for them. A love that doesn't waiver.
I spend my days basking in this love. Rushing home to feel it. Just being in its presence is enough. This love creates a dramatic vibrance in my life. Everything feels more possible. I can do anything with this love by my side. I have never tried to be a painter but if this love were to hand me a canvas and brush I would try.
I can't give any advice on when you will experience this love. But just know when it shows up your heart will know. Although it may take time to accept it, this love will not quit showing up until you have.
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