Making Peace with my Past to have a Bright Future

I know you guys have read my posts, my past was freaking crazy. I had abusive boyfriends, friends that weren’t really friends, and had my dream until I had to completely give it up. For a while, I was completely defeated. There were times just thinking about the situations I was in completely overwhelmed me until I couldn’t breathe. My past was on it’s way to dictate my entire future. I wasn’t going to be with anyone or do anything as long as I carried it around. So what do you do when you want to move forward, but you are still carrying around your past? I will tell you one thing. You cannot just simply let it go. Letting things go works when you have maybe an ex that you just need to quit. But what I am talking about, is being knee deep in your past. Can’t go anywhere without being reminded of it, can’t quit any and all old habits, constantly in a depression from it. Like you’ve completely let it define you. The only thing you can do at this point, is make peace with it. That means, going through everything you’ve ever done, anything you’ve ever been through, and finally telling yourself that everything will be ok. You aren’t telling yourself what happened was right, or that it was your fault, or convincing yourself it never happened. One thing I have struggled with so much within the last 2 years was my failure to keep my dream. I literally beat myself up for 2 whole years after I came home and it completely wore me out. Some times I knew I needed to make peace with it but I just couldn’t let that connection to it go. Until recently, when I discovered I had new dreams. When I had realized I had a passion for houses and interior design, I could finally start making peace with not staying on the team. I had let go of one dream and found another. One night I sat down at my computer and went on the Tennessee softball website for the first time since I left. It was like having an intervention with myself. “That’s not your only dream. You have another. It’s okay, it just wasn’t meant to be.” Now I can cheer on my Vols without secretly wishing they would fail. (Yes I know I am…

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The One Thing You Need to Accomplish Anything

No, it isn’t magic, pixie dust, or luck. It’s actually something extremely simple and anyone can do it. All you have to do, is believe. No, I am not kidding. That is literally the secret to success. You see, it’s the backbone to anything you wish to succeed in. You will accomplish nothing if you do not believe you can. I mean, why are you even bothering yourself with it? You have a dream that you want to open a pastry shop, but don’t believe you ever be able to. You don’t believe in your ability enough to get that pastry shop one day. So why bother with having the dream? Seems silly really. I am a firm believer that if you believe in yourself nothing else will matter. Now I could be totally wrong about this. You may be in a situation or may can think of a situation where believing in yourself did nothing for you. That’s okay, I am not here to discredit you. All I am saying is, I had a dream and if it weren’t for me believing in myself, I would have never gotten there. (You and read about that journey here.) Granted, a lot of crap happened and I ultimately had to give it up, but I still made it there and even got the t-shirt. So it works, you just have to allow it to. You need to want to do for yourself before you expect it from others. Did you know that a lot of people have their own lives and will usually use that as an excuse as to why they don’t have time to care about yours? That has actually happened to me A LOT.Β  Want to know what helps? When you believe in yourself. People want to know that you are confident in yourself before they invest time in you. They want reassurance that you aren’t just depending solely on them. It’s kinda rude, I know, but it’s just how some people work. But can you really blame them? You want all of their time, but you don’t even believe that you will succeed, so why should they? well they should, but the point here is so should you. Whatever your dream may be. Whatever goal you may have. It’s awesome, because you’re awesome. Don’t just let it stay a dream though. Believe in your ability, your strength,…

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Life is Like a Roller Coaster

Life is like a roller coaster, but I don’t think people are riding the right one. I recently went to Six Flags America over the weekend and I had a blast. My boyfriend and I rode every roller coaster except one, had some Dippin’ Dots, and even took a picture with Daffy Duck and Porky the Pig. It was one of the best days I’ve had in a while. It was while waiting in line for Ride of Steel that my wheels started turning. (We waited in that line for a whole hour, so I had plenty of time to think.) People seem to always use the expression that life is like a roller coaster. They use it to describe life’s ups and downs. They happen in life and all we can do is ride it out. However, I don’t believe people are talking about the same roller coasters that I enjoy riding at the theme park. No matter what point I am at while I’m riding, I am filled with excitement. I want more. I am always happy to be riding it and firmly enjoy the thrills of the steep drops and twists. Even the other day when my glasses fell off my face, I was scared, but my boyfriend and I locked them in with our feet and I continued to even enjoy the loop. So here’s a question: Why aren’t we treating this roller coaster we call Life, like we are at a theme park? Even when we are experiencing ups and downs, we should still be enjoying the ride. At no point should we be waiting for the ride to go back up, but if we are, its because we can’t wait for the next fall. At no point should you want to get off. Take every twist, turn and loop with a smile. At least you are riding it. At least you haven’t stopped. So when things get a little hairy and you find yourself thinking, “Well life is like a roller coaster.” Take that next step and say, “I’m going to ride it like I’m at an amusement park.” If you can’t, do that, then maybe you’re riding the wrong one.

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Ted Talks Worth Watching

The only time I used to watch Ted Talks was in school. Teachers would show them as either ways around teaching for the day, or to actually teach their lesson that they just felt this person explained better. Needless to say, if my teacher told me that we were watching one that day, I was excited. I have compiled together a list of Ted Talks that I believe are worth watching. They made a difference in my life and I am hoping they make a difference in yours too! Amy Cuddy: Your body language shapes who you are. I was shown this gem in a communications class my sophomore year of college. This is my absolute favorite Ted Talk I have ever watched. I was so moved by her story because I felt it was similar to my own. Feeling like you’ve made it to a place where you don’t belong. When she acknowledges triumph I felt myself crying full blown in class, because I knew I could get to that point eventually too. “Fake it until you become it.” (I refrained from making a huge paragraph about this just so you could watch the whole thing and me not give a lot of it away.) Shonda Rhimes: My year of saying yes Writer and producer of multiple hit tv shows such as Scandal, How To Get Away With Murder and Greys Anatomy, Shonda gives an inspirational speech about finding your way back to yourself once you have become burnt out. This is a much more recent Ted Talk that I discovered on my own time. I was searching for something to pick me up after a long day of not being home. Shonda taught me that I need to find time for the love in my life in order to truly be successful and happy. Carol Dweck: The power of believing you can improve Last but not least, this gem is an essential watch when you are feeling like you are a failure. At one point, when I came back from my one failed semester at the University of Tennessee, I would lay in my bed some days and just cry. I asked my mother on multiple equations why I was a failure. I wanted to know why I was such a terrible person, that I couldn’t even hold onto my own dream. This Ted Talk showed me that…

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Why I Will Happily Take a Bullshit Major

I am so sick of hearing this. One of the biggest arguments about why students can’t find jobs in their profession after they graduate is that they didn’t choose their major wisely. That we are stupid to believe that an Arts degree or a Women Studies degree could possibly get us a good job in the real world. We should go to school for a better major, like become a doctor, a teacher, or a lawyer. That is the only possible way to start our career and blah, blah, blah, blah. I honestly don’t care for what those people have to say. If it’s a major at a school, that means that someone thought that the knowledge it holds is needed at some point in their chosen career path. There are jobs that need this degree to be successful. Just because it isn’t a conventional degree that everyone knows for a fact will get you a job, doesn’t mean it isn’t worth anything. We have every right to ask where are the jobs. They are out there, just much harder to obtain than others. Not everyone can be doctors, not everyone can be teachers, not everyone can be lawyers, not everyone can be engineers. There are some of us who are more on the creative side, and choose to be artists, musicians, film directors and actors. There are some of us that are interested in the way people act, communicating with others, and the struggles that each specific person may endure. Instead of blaming the student for choosing that major, why aren’t we blaming all the people throughout your child’s life that told them they could do whatever they wanted to do in life and be okay. Or how about embracing the fact that your child has chosen a different path for their life. Or even better, applaud your child for continuing their education. Not everyone even makes it to that point. If everyone was going to do the same thing, why do we even have universities? Why do we expect that from people? I would rather take my bullshit major, then live the rest of my life unhappy with what I was doing. Life is too short to go to a job everyday you don’t like. Imagine how much better life is when you are doing something you love? Everyone is different, and it’s time to stop asking why…

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