The number one thing my best friend says about me, is that I am too nice.
I can’t help it. I have literally always been this way. Although, at times, I have been completely pushed over for other’s gain, for the most part my kindness has gotten me new jobs, meet new people, and experience out of my comfort zone opportunities that if I were not so nice I probably wouldn’t have gotten.
I never really saw it as a bad thing. Aside from the few screw overs it has never came back to bite me in the butt. But obviously something has changed to make me write this, right?
I have grown tired.
So what do you do when you have grown tired of something you are sure you can’t change about yourself? You lay in bed all day, take a few naps, and figure out a course of action.
Something basic could help me. Like to just learn to say the word no. So many times I have been asked to do something that I really didn’t want to do, and instead of saying no, it is replaced with something like, maybe, or I’ll think about it. Could’ve probably saved myself a lot of nervous wreck days if I had just told them what I really wanted to tell them. Not what they wanted to hear.
Should probably stop and think before answering too.
Can’t lie, half the time when someone is staring right at me with their sad eyes I can’t possibly tell them no. I could actually be thinking no in my head and then blurt out sure! Like… WHY!? Cause I probably would feel terrible for like 10 minutes and question whether or not they still like me for 2 weeks. So instead I get really bad anxiety leading up to whatever thing I told them I would do, it goes terrible, and then the whole thing is a big, big mess.
But then I do it all over again.
So maybe stopping and actually thinking everything all the way through before answering would probably help.
I know people automatically think, “Oh I’ll ask Cat, she won’t say no.”
I know this because sometimes when I do say no, or I can’t they look genuinely surprised. Can tell they were not counting on that, so they go to plan B and start telling me how they asked everyone and don’t know who else to ask. And when I still don’t say yes, they walk away. Probably very confused as to why their little white lie didn’t work.
Most of the time I am not doing anything. Even more of the time, I am not doing anything when I SHOULD be doing one of the million things I need to still get done. (I was supposed to cancel my gym membership 2 weeks ago).
Even though I’m not doing anything, does not mean I want to do whatever it is you ask me to do. Maybe I want a break? Maybe I’m tired? Maybe I want to spend time with my boyfriend? There’s so much I’d rather do than whatever.
But I am too nice of a person to tell you that.
But I am also at my limit.
I am extremely nice, but I really don’t choose to be. It’s just natural! Don’t use it against me. I guess I really don’t have any advice to all my other too nice sunflowers out there. Just know that we are in this together and don’t lose your shit anytime soon with the shit ton of other peoples requests you have to do.
Trust and believe you do not want a person who is too nice to flip the switch on you.
It won’t be pretty.