There may be clouds, but it may not rain.
We all like to believe that every single day is a win for our self esteem. That no matter what happens, we are always able to pick ourselves up and still say we are beautiful. However, that’s not always the case. Sometimes, it’s just too hard. The thoughts are too strong and no matter what you do or what you say, nothing ever helps. Sometimes, there are clouds, but no rain.
What I mean is, we as Sunflowers need water to thrive. We want to grow strong and vibrant. Beam with confidence with knowing we are beautiful. That water can be something simple like someone giving you a compliment, or you having the ability to give yourself water by telling yourself how awesome you are. What’s tragic is that some days, no matter how hard we try, we just can’t get the water we need.
When I first decided that I was going to work on how I viewed myself, my boyfriend was a huge part of that. He has watered me every single day that we have been together. Even when he just looks at me like I’m the only girl in the entire world I feel so beautiful. However, there were days when I would see what my friends looked like, or was on Instagram and went through all the celebrity pictures and it would kill me inside. “Why don’t I look like them?”, or “How can I change myself to look like that?”. And unfortunately, no matter how much water he poured, it was like it was stuck in the clouds. They got darker and darker, but it never rained.
Let me tell you, those days were horrible.
I would barely talk. Anything I wore was ugly, anyway I did my make up was tragic, and anytime I looked in the mirror I would pick apart every single piece of me until there was nothing left.
And some days, I just didn’t get out of the bed, and cried.
The great thing about these days is they don’t last forever. It does eventually rain. The day does come to an end. You do keep going.
What I wish everyone would understand is that working on you and changing the way that you think about yourself takes a lot of growth. It doesn’t happen over night. That’s the best way to screw yourself up. Thinking that it’s supposed to come so quickly, that you give up when it takes a little longer to get there.
Do you see how tall Sunflowers are?
We want to get there. Trust me. I do too. But that comes with accepting that it will take time. That you will have clouds but no rain. It will rain. And the sun will come out. And you can get back on track.
Give yourself time to grow.